(sigh)… How did I get here. Life is wild, huh? What a wild ride it has been indeed. Its funny, my whole life I’ve heard this: Life is simple when you’re young, just wait until you get older. I’d never let it get complicated, I’d always say, confidently believing that I controlled my own fate. That as long as I could control myself, how I felt, how others saw me, if I did everything “right”, it would all work out.

You can’t change fate…

I’m not really sure who I’m writing this for. I don’t think that anyone will read it. In the sea of AI generated nonsense and frantic souls competing to “make it” in this space, I’m sure I will be translucent. Like a ghost. Existing, but invisible. Such is my life, but that’s okay. Today, the day after Christmas, I’ve accepted that.

October 19th, 2022, my heart was put on life support. December of that year I had found some hope. But December 23rd, 2024, just two days before Christmas, hope died and I died with it. So now, as a ghost, before I leave this world, I thought I could leave behind some thoughts. Maybe like a post mortem. Such as in life, this blog will be a ghost.

A moonlit ghost…